Ohhhh

So, i havn't written in ages, i actually forgot about this and everything i had written!!
I think ill try and use this more often as i enjoy writting bout things!!

Just a quick one then,
I havn't had a very good couple of days really for two reasons, one is with callum and another is to do with something i shouldn't really talk about.

But the plus side is, Me and callum are getting better and i going to mums today so a few days apart will do us good.
And, the other thing that i cant say about, just shows how proud i should be of myself, despite everything.

Looking forward to seeing my mum and my jez

Ill write again soon!!!
xx

how selfish.

I went to a wedding yesterday and earned £33, it was awesome.
I had a panic attack today and i also found out today that my sister was at my house this weekend, my dad didn't tell me.
Talk about a let down from a lovely previous day.

Just a quick one to say..

College is going awsome! I love it!
Life is shawweeeeeeeet right now.
music,callum,friends,college,london.
Hope things stay this amazing <3

WOAAAH

sooooooo...
I totally havnt made a blog in ages.. which is silly. I started my account, made two blogs, then gave up!  What a let down eh ?
Well, i realise that a blog can sometimes be turned into a way for one person to talk about themselfs all the time, and some times way to often and i guess thats what i have and will do in my blogs, but i think blogs are a valuable thing to do, i mean, look at Anne Frank? ok... Im not living in a world war with nazi's trying to blow my head off, BUT someday, something could happen, be it good or bad and someone, anyone, might like to read about me and my life :)


So here goes about moi..


i guess the most obvious thing for me to talk about is whatever it might be that is most important to me at the precise time and/or whats been going on my life. And i've choosen a good time to write a blog, as lots of things have been happening.


First of all, I've been totally spoilt latly, with my new microphone, and lots of new cloths and shoes for in and out of college (which btw i start on wednesday... excited  scared much ?) and new things make me happy, as i dont get alot, i do, but not all the time.. soo when i do, i really appreciate it !! (thankyou to dad and jez) and no, they arn't a gay couple, although from reading that you may have gathered as much. They are my dad and step dad :)
Second of all, lately, wow.. im just extremly extremly happy and i believe these are the reasons why:

• Its been summer and ive had lots of time to do as i wish.
• I have a new addition to my life.. a certain someone called callum who i'll talk more about later.
• I've had an amazing oppitunity which i shall also talk about in a sec
• and ive finally found the people in my life that i want there forever because they wont let me down, whereas before, i was lost in that area.

I'll start with callum, my boyfriend.
not gunna get all soppy but dear lord! He really knows how to treat me and ofcourse i love it!
He supports me everyday in the most important thing in my life (my career) by listening to all of my news and coming to all of my shows, wishing me luck and telling me how great im gunna do. He really cares and it makes it so much easier sometimes, to know someone believes in me that doesnt have to.. because he hasnt been here all along..hes not my family and he doesnt have to be here, but he chooses to be and quite frankly, he's an amazing person. He makes me feel so special everyday, and thats how it should be. Not only is he incredible in how he treats me.. but i find myself actually wanting to care for him and wanting to make him happy, i want to do nice things for him and make him smile and show him how much he means.. i dont think i've ever wanted to please someone before.. not like this, and when i do make him smile and make him happy, it makes me feel good aswell, which means its good alround. <3


On to my weekend and my amazing oppertunity which i mentioned earlier.
Leroy is a film maker and director of a company called Miles of Styles but he also manages a rapper/singer (RB d'cruz) and a group of dancers. Very soon me and him should be working with eachother.
I cant tell you everything about whats going on but basicly me and my dad went to london for the weekend to meet with him and also to visit my nan. We left at 4 o clock friday moring and arrived in Brixton, london at about half 9. Leroy couldnt meet till 12 but we thought we would leave this early so we could miss the traffic.
With the spare time we had to waste in Brixton me and my dad explored the shops and markets after drinking some coffee.

The culture there is amazing! I love it. The place is full of jamaican men and women and everything that goes with the way they live. All through the markets there was reggae music playing and jamaican food being sold, so my ears and nose was happy! There was also loads of different kinds of shops and i just loved being there.. as this is near where my family are from and ofcourse near where i was born i felt so at home.. and i felt i was more free to be me, as london is full of sooo many different kinds of people. You dont have to be afraid of what people are going to say, cuz they quite simply dont care.

Anyway as my dad was wasting some time taking pictures as i was sitting in the car. A man approached him, They instanly clicked as they started talking. They both love photography and they were both carrying their Sony camera's under their arms. They were also both keen on very strong subjects such as the goverment and society, so they were in deep conversation with eachother when my dad mentioned why we were in Brixton the man then gave us the knowledge that he was a musicain himself and had infact been the one who sang 'Where's your head at' - by bassment jaxx. I thought this was amazing. Out of the whole of london and the thousands of people that could have stopped to speak to my dad and he's the one that does! That was a great experience!

Soo .. there are going to be some big things going on with me soon, I dont know what they are myself yet but i cant wait to get to work and start working my way up the music industry!

Also whilst i was in london, we went to my home town Romford, Essex to stay with my nan, this was also lush as i dont see her and her dogs much and love them all <3 I really hope my nan knows that aswell as i havnt had much of a chance to show her :/ <3 

Thanks for reading.. heres some photo's of everything :)

Below are photos of the Brixton underground station sign, the fridge club (suprisingly decorated with fridges) and a real cool wall of graffiti in the market at brixton, my nans garden and outside where she lives, the O2 academy, where my dads been raving many times and also watched artists such as Progidy and Orbital. Chester the lab, Macy the border collie, me, callum, my nan, my dad and cool sign that says Electric lane ;)

more coming.. probably not for a while ;)

a key ? ... to what ?

Ive been learning alot lately. About life. About people.

Ive realised that in important situations and circumstances you need to please your self and no one else.

You also need to to trust only yourself.. untill someone has proved themselfs to you, cuz at the end of the day..the truth is.. no ones as 'nice as you' .. they are.. but.. we just seem to plead innocence all the time.. when infact we are not. Because we beleieve we are innocent, when people do everyday bad things (bitching, lying,betrayel) We would probably do the same .. without realising how much we are hurting people around us.. its sad.. but i believe this is true. Realised this recently

Also.. ive began to wonder if i know myself that well at all.. i mean obviously i do.. but i find myself automaticly saying things about myself that i beleieve are true.. but when it comes down to it.. its infact not ?

Things as little as what i look for in a guy.. I thought i looked for someone kind, successful, musical. But infact thats not it at all. I think when you find someone you could end up loving you'll know but not because they tell you they have a huge career or because they are gorgeous or because of how kind they are to you.. They just have it.. something to make your stomach flutter with wings. Weather they feel the same is the other half of the story, but finding that is important. i guess we perseive our selfs in a way we find honuourable, aproachable, but we just need to learn who we really are by getting out there and having all these experiences and making memorys and off course mistakes:) realised this Recently

i dont know if any of those topics mean anything to anyone.. but it may well do, so why not.

More random blogs coming soon. ;)

Random pictures taken in the last week.

My favourite ones <3

            < Me and Callums little photoshoot :)

^^^ Say no to fake tann!  It's so important to feel confident with your natural state. When you are comfortable with yourself, thats when you become beautiful. not before.

<3 Me and daisy loved that day.

< Sally the slutty seagull 

posing.

My first entry

Well, today i went to go to town with some friends but then realised that no buses run on a sunday.
Typical cornwall if you ask me.
A great start to a great day.. full of rain ;)

I think i'll start my blog with a paragraph about a good friend of mine.
She inspired me to start my blog because i read hers and i just genrally like the idea of writing down your ideas for people to see, they may learn something new from what i write and i may learn something new as im writing.. things may slot into place for me more.

<3

Tamii-marie commons. A girl i have had in my life for near on 4 years; not a long time compared to other people i know but this girl has taught me alot. Im not afraid to say that not all of it was good things but me and her know how we have treated eachother in the past and i think we both want to overcome our differences. This is because even though we know how much we could have hurt echother in the past.. there is still this undying..  unlimited care for one another.

Like most girls we both can be very bitchy and very judgmental. And the worste thing about that is, we have probably done it to eachother more than anyone else.

So i would just like to state very clearly. I love this girl (and her family who have also loved me when i needed it the most) and although she has her faults. So do i and so does everyone else. Ive learnt that now and im starting to really appreciate everything shes done for me and not just meterial things either.

Thankyou tam tam and yes i would like to go to the seaside if you could just move fork a miniute? :)